Emotional pain, some times, is the result of disappointments, death of a family or friend, tragic accidents or other misfortunes. Emotional pain, some times, is part of a grieving process about changes a person is going through. The mental models the person has over his/her expectations are rooted to a set of beliefs that are the foundation on how the individual’s actions are shaped. These beliefs are part of a belief system the person builds over time.
When the individual experiences a disappointment or a tragedy the belief about security and integrity are shaken. The realization that accidents, not succeeding in something, being rejected for a relationship or a job, and other life?s challenges disappointments, make the individual lower his/hers expectations about something. This self-devaluation makes the person feel insecure and vulnerable. A deep sense of low self-esteem and low self-worth invade the person?s thoughts.
While is not the emotional pain that matter the most, the focus should be in coping, go through, and come with a renew strategy to rebuild self-confidence and new self-motivation. To come with a new strategy is not going to be easy. The new strategy will be built based on the individual?s set of beliefs, which are still fragile. Grieving process is a way to clean up the old ways. Grieving process is part of the individual?s growth. Grieving is part of coping emotional pain. The coping rule is not get into self-pity. The individual who focus on coping constructively knows that self-pity, self-compassion or self-defeat don?t help to rebuild self-confidence.
Time to implement changes. When dramatic disappointments overwhelm the individual, then, dramatic changes must be implemented. Applying some common sense it is obvious that the person may rush into a change. The individual with experience on coping over life?s challenges knows very well that before rush into a change the change has to be planned. Questions like, who might be affected by the change? Is this going to affect my family? My job? My colleagues? My finances?. The individual with experience knows that the biggest, dramatic and a must change will be the attitude.
Attitude is the change. There is no dramatic change if the person wants to change jobs, relationships or even family if the person does not focus on the change that matters, attitude.
Different attitudes can be applied,
Defiant- Against all odds he/she believes will succeed. Careful in avoiding the same mistakes.
Prepare/Study more- Double the dedication because success is attainable is only a matter of fine tuning.
New horizon- Taking the ship in a bright, calm waters to better destination after a storm.
When a door closes, other opens- Organizers suggests to throw away things that are useless, so useful things can be brought in.
Chapter close- A book or a chapter of a book has finished, the individual digest the last paragraph and will wait some time to reflect on the last chapter, before open the new one.
Fresh start- Is not beginning from zero. There are lessons learned and experiences.
Complete turn around- The individual knows that has to change only those shortcomings, not the assets. He/she will keep the talents and will work on eliminating the shortcomings.
These are only a few positive attitude changes that the person can apply. Coping emotional pain is reachable regardless if the individual suffers from anxiety and/or depression and is following a treatment