before i write this,i will try not to become to emotional,but i agreed to send this so here goes.
it was 1995 and i was living and working in aldershot hampshire at the time.my partner was pregnent and this particaler night i got home at about 10.30 pm,my partner at the time was feeling unwell but nothing to worry about.the night wore on and she was feeling worse so i phoned the emergengy doctor out.he arrived about two hours later at about two in the morning he did the usual examination blood pressure etc.
he was worried but not overally concerned so we agreed to see him at 10am,and he left.
about 4 in the morning there was a knock on the door after the usually who is that at this time of morning i answerd the door to find the doctor stood there and he sais i have been thinking about your partner and i have arranged for an ambulance.
still in a sort of dazed shock i never considerd the baby.at the hospital my partner was rushed immediately into theatre and not to watch a movie.
about 5 hours later a doctor spoke to me and said we have managed to save your partners life-but we could not save the baby it was etopic you see–no i did not understand any of it but it was a nightmare i would wake up soon but it was no nightmare in sleep it was real and i was awake.i was numb they had saved my partners life and even though i did not know it was at risk i was over joyed,slowly very slowly it started to hit me,my partners life was saved but from what-our baby had died but how and what is an etopic pregnancy.
i did not know all i knew in a couple of sentances from the doctor told me they saved my partners life but not our babies- i did not know what to think saved life-died-what why could i should i-it was real and so where my tears and my heart shatterd-what do i say to my partner,will she know about our precious baby,will she blame me i know i do but not why i do