How can friends and family help?
This section is for friends or family who wish to support someone they know who has borderline personality disorder.
- People with BPD can have very low self-esteem, and it may help if you remind them of good things about themselves.
- A person with BPD is likely to feel emotionally unstable, so it can help if you are able to keep calm and stable. You may need to find more support for yourself (see Carers UK under Useful contacts).
- Your friend or relative may have more than average changes of mood and attitude, and feelings of being abandoned or let down by you. Try not to take this personally.
- Try to keep in mind that the person you care about wants very much to be loved and cared for but may not know how to ask for help.
- If the person you care about is not receiving any help or therapy then you could help them by offering to find information about therapies that might work for them.
- Learn about the disorder and find out whether there are any groups to support families and friends, as well as the person with BPD.
- You cannot give someone else a sense of self-worth. People with BPD have to find their own way to this, through therapy and hard work. But you can support and encourage them as they go through this process, which is likely to take time.