why ho why-bpd

This is the first instalment of Mike’s story about his battle to help his step-daughter ‘D’ with her Mental Health problems…

Mike, D (17 on the right) and older sister.

My story started about 12 years ago (now 14 years ago),when I met my now wife.

We dated for about three weeks before it was decided  I was to meet the two younger daughters from her previous marriage,they were aged six and seven at the time.

We decided to meet the children on neutral ground so we met at the opticians.  The elder one was rather reserved and shy but the youngest one (D) started to untie my shoe laces,we all got on very very well and eventually we all moved in together and like most relationships we had our ups and downs but mostly happy times.

The years passed happily and without any major problems.

Then when D turned about 12 she was verbally bullied at school,within twelve months it turned to physical attacks and after numerous visits to  meetings at the school and the education authorities there was no satisfactory conclusion.

D’s elder sister attended the same school with no problems at all so after souls searching we decided to home school D with the education authorities visiting us at home and showing them the education we were doing and they where satisfied.

At 16 D went to college for child care but after a good twelve months there she decided to leave and after numerous courses etc she seemed to be losing interest in almost everything

But much worse was to follow.

D’s mom and I got married in April 2008 and D really enjoyed the wedding and appeared so happy.

But in January 2009 for some unknown reason D attacked with me with a knife and my wife phoned the police, it was agreed D would go and live with her biological father who lived out of area with his new wife and family.

D did not settle there and returned home in April 2009, but that was not the end just the beginning of D’s nightmares of living.

D attacked me with bleach,throwing tvs at me etc, over a dozen occasions.

On May 20th 2009 D was sent to Newhall prison for two months.

She told the police she meant it.

Even though I knew she did not mean it, we were devastated, she needed help not punishment and I would prove it…


Since May ’09 D has attacked me over 30 times, and also a probation officer, police and now prison officers. The Prison Governor told us D was getting worse on a daily basis.

We have been fighting to get D help for mental health, as we realised this may be the cause of her behaviour, but we were thwarted at every attempt.

In November 2009 D was assessed, the assessment reviewed the risk’s D posed in relation to mental health. But they were wrong, listing her as ‘low’ risk for suicide, self-harm, exploitation, self-neglect and non-compliance when there was evidence of much higher risk for each, and listed as ‘moderate’ risk for violence and aggression when there were over 30 incidents, arrests and assaults she had perpetrated that were evidence otherwise.

I eventually got this assessment investigated and proven to be wrong and inaccurate.

The fight was not over, D continued to be in and out of prison.

In February 2011 D was finally diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and sectioned under S37 of the Mental Health Act and the fight to get her help continues. I love D and want her to get the right help and support so that she can come home and be with her family where she belongs.

To be continued…

Mike will be blogging here so make sure to pop by and see his latest posts :)

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