after years of being a self centred not very nice person my eldest sister was diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia which although i guess looking back her behaviour was odd.
it had a horrific effect on my mother and my family.
although i did care my lifestyle would not change but after about six months of my sisters and families turmoil and my sort of caring and visiting my sister often it somehow put my life in to some sort of perspective.
it took my sisters serious mental health issues and my families suffering to make me see i was in my current lifestyle letting them all down just like my father did to us all many years ago.without the violence towards my family i was just like my father and although i protected my own children i was not there for my brothers and sisters who had suffered at my fathers hands all them years ago.
so after some serious soul searching i got some help to reduce my alcoholic life style and transferred my energies into researching mental health conditions and over time i became more and more aware of Paranoid Schizophrenia and spent many hours discussing the way forward with my sisters doctors and being able to in a way translate things to my mother and family.
after years of ups and downs and my sister setting her flat on fire after discharge from the mental health hospital the medication began to work and in a way because of my research i was in a great position to help.listen to her and offer advice.
my childhood and my sisters illness made me stronger,probably saved my life and began my constant research into mental health and if my life was different then i would not have become who i am